Brock Press

My biggest frustration with people is how to get them to overcome the perceived power that the bully has in an organization and studies have shown that most HR departments are turning a blind eye to the problem. More than 50 per cent of complaints about bullying behavior are ignored by HR. As a matter of fact, many HR people actually get upset when this type of complaint comes in.

Corporate bullying is often seen in the same light as domestic violence in the past where the victim is not taken seriously and usually the benefit of the doubt goes to the perpetrator.

The employee goes to upper management to complain about a specific middle manager who is exhibiting bullying behavior and upper management usually takes the word of the middle manager over the employee.

I keep hearing people tell me that they are afraid of retaliation. "Ted if I speak up, Joe will make my life here hell." And I don't doubt that Joe has had that power in the past. Any company that has completed our Employee Relations Program has the knowledge that the top management in the company is totally committed to the elimination of bullying and controlling behavior.

Let me repeat something I have said many times before. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Maybe Joe had the power in the past, but I can assure you he is powerless now.

Here is another saying..."The world is a scary place. Not because of the people that are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it."

The only power the bully has is what we allow him or her to have. Yes, we give the bully the power by allowing ourselves to be the victim. Let me put it another way, just in case you didn't get it. By refusing to become a victim you render the bully powerless.

Let me throw out a caution here. I am talking about mental corporate bullying. I am not talking about street gang physical bullying. Please make sure you keep yourself physically safe.

Now, back to the corporate bully. If the boss has not backed the employee when the employee has concerns about a supervisor then the employee will shut down, will not complain, be unhappy and put up with the bullying of the supervisor. Even when the boss says, "Trust me, I will back you up next time", the employee will still be gun shy if no real support was evident in the past.

The key is to empower and support the employee whenever the employee points out concerns regarding a supervisor's behavior. Here are some simple keys to empowering the employees when it comes to corporate bullying:
1 - Do not ever dismiss an employee's comment as being trivial
2 - Do not make excuses for your supervisor
3 - Hold your supervisor to a high code of conduct
4 - Allow the employee to go over the supervisor's head as a last resort in order to bring inappropriate behavior to light
5 - All supervisors and employees must be treated equally when it comes to a code of conduct
6 - Employees must feel safe when confronting their supervisor's behavior
7 - Make sure that the supervisor clearly understands that any retaliation towards an employee who brings forth bullying behavior will result in immediate and harsh consequences

As for the employees, here are some things that they can do stop the bully:
1 - Tell the bully what you need, never what they are doing wrong
2 - Sometimes a coffee with the bully asking them what it is that you did to make them so angry. This has a tendency to disarm the bully when you ask them how you can do better
3 - Never back down from the bully if you believe that the bullying is unjust
4 - Do not dance the bully's dance. Force them to dance your dance
5 - Tell the bully that you will be talking to senior management about their behavior
6 - Do not allow yourself to become a victim

Bullies act up because that is all they know. Most bullies are looking for power because they are insecure and fear being found out.

Bullying behavior comes in several personality types. Some bullies yell and scream and you never know what kind of mood they are in. One minute they are nice and the next they yell and scream creating a toxic workplace. Others are constantly criticizing everyone and everything in order to deflect their own in competency. Another type is one who lies and deceits his or her way up the corporate ladder. These types of very dangerous because they can never be trusted as they will always make it look like they are not at fault. Finally there is the one who controls access to the means to do your job. They can put roadblocks up that impede progress and promotion.

When people fully understand the code of conduct that is enshrined in The Mouradian Model, there will be no need for bullying and no need for the boss to intervene. Below is a capsule of the six tenets of the model.

All staff will celebrate and validate each other's actions while not allowing insignificant habits to get blown way out of proportion. Each person in the interaction will know how to communicate respectfully, directly and honestly to bring a clear understanding to all their interactions.

Each staff person will constantly look for a balance and equilibrium in order to create a cooperative action. No one will exert power and ownership over anyone else. There will be mutual trust and respect.

Finally, all employees and management will understand fully that acceptance is not necessarily agreement and when the relationship becomes toxic they will know how to walk away.

If an employee feels unsafe in the workplace, they tend to do poorer when they are dealing with customers. Their productivity goes down and their absenteeism increases because they just don't want to face the bully at work. When customer service and productivity drops the bottom line is affected.

It should also be noted that governments are now looking to bring in anti-bullying legislation. Quebec has become the first Province in Canada do enact such legislation.

Do not fall victim to the false power of the corporate bully. By confronting their behavior calmly and respectfully you will render the bully powerless. It is your right as an employee to have a bully free work environment.

Ted Mouradian is a Brock graduate and the principal in The Mouradian Group, www.cooperativeaction.com. He is a professional speaker, published author and the creator of the Mouradian Model for Cooperative Action. Ted can be reached at ted@cooperativeaction.com.