Funny, insane, weird and inane eBay auctions
Aaron Bronsteter
Issue date: 11/23/04 Section: Humour
When it comes to finding cheap prices on the Internet, eBay is a prime destination. However, eBay is also a global marketplace for hilarity where many obscure and ridiculous items exist and are sold on a daily or even hourly basis. For this article, I went on a quest to find some of the stranger eBay auctions to see what I could dig up.
A used pair of porn star Joe Cartwright's underwear
For approximately one British pound, you can acquire a pair of underwear worn by the star of such feature films as Rear Entry VII. This pair was worn for the movies 10 Things I Love About Dick and Dude, Where's my Bistro and Cigar Lounge? Yes, that is an actual movie title. Both of these movies were filmed in Romania and the underwear brand is Dolce and Gabbana, so even if you don't care about Cartwright, you can still wash them and have a nice pair of designer underwear for less than a British pound. At this point in the auction, shipping costs more than the item itself.
The Family Matters: Do the Urkel board game
No description that I write can equate to the amazingness of the actual item description:
"For years, mothers and fathers everywhere have asked themselves the question 'How do I get my children to view me as something more than a cyborg parental unit?' At last we have an answer: Do The Urkel with them! Do The Urkel is basically a collecting game. Collect eight bow ties to win the game. Challenges and pitfalls abound however, and you may find yourself having to imitate Urkel, hike up your pants, laugh and snort, or even sing the Urkel song - complete with finger puppet and cardboard eyeglasses. An ideal holiday gift for every Family Matters fan. C'mon, you're not afraid to get a little silly once in a while are you?"
The item is currently at 99 cents and gtowndogg is the high bidder. Once again, shipping is more than the actual item, in fact more than six times the cost.
A cautionary decal
This is no ordinary cautionary decal, but one that reads "Caution: My farts have been known to kill barnyard animals." This is a vinyl decal that sticks to most surfaces and won't leave any adhesive sticky stains. It only costs a dollar and shipping is $1.25, so this is definitely a worthwhile purchase for those with smelly farts.
A used pair of porn star Joe Cartwright's underwear
For approximately one British pound, you can acquire a pair of underwear worn by the star of such feature films as Rear Entry VII. This pair was worn for the movies 10 Things I Love About Dick and Dude, Where's my Bistro and Cigar Lounge? Yes, that is an actual movie title. Both of these movies were filmed in Romania and the underwear brand is Dolce and Gabbana, so even if you don't care about Cartwright, you can still wash them and have a nice pair of designer underwear for less than a British pound. At this point in the auction, shipping costs more than the item itself.
The Family Matters: Do the Urkel board game
No description that I write can equate to the amazingness of the actual item description:
"For years, mothers and fathers everywhere have asked themselves the question 'How do I get my children to view me as something more than a cyborg parental unit?' At last we have an answer: Do The Urkel with them! Do The Urkel is basically a collecting game. Collect eight bow ties to win the game. Challenges and pitfalls abound however, and you may find yourself having to imitate Urkel, hike up your pants, laugh and snort, or even sing the Urkel song - complete with finger puppet and cardboard eyeglasses. An ideal holiday gift for every Family Matters fan. C'mon, you're not afraid to get a little silly once in a while are you?"
The item is currently at 99 cents and gtowndogg is the high bidder. Once again, shipping is more than the actual item, in fact more than six times the cost.
A cautionary decal
This is no ordinary cautionary decal, but one that reads "Caution: My farts have been known to kill barnyard animals." This is a vinyl decal that sticks to most surfaces and won't leave any adhesive sticky stains. It only costs a dollar and shipping is $1.25, so this is definitely a worthwhile purchase for those with smelly farts.
