What I got and did not got for Christmas!
Corey MacDonald
Issue date: 1/6/09 Section: Marginalia
GOT!
Kota My Triceratops Dinosaur
Failing to read the instructions, I sat on his back and simultaneously shatter ed his spine. Now he just lays in bed all day.
Don't worry, I take good care of him. I know he'd do the same for me.
GOT!
Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo
After hearing that these dolls professed religious dogma, I just had to have one. However, like many other young adult males on Christmas morning, I was disappointed with my Cuddle&Coo. The dolls, like the perpetrators of the claim, fared no better than infantile nonsense. Nevertheless, I will continue to make use of it. I have grown more attached as the days progressed.
I guess you can say, I came for the religious message, but stayed for the cuddles and the coos.
GOT!
Powerwheels
Barbie Jeep
Being that A)I am lazy and B) my driving instructor was a bitch, I currently only hold a G1 liscense. I desperately needed a means of transportation that I could use, and that is was I got.
I was excited to get this baby on the road, however its inability to traverse mild inclines was a serious setback. On top of that , I can never get out of my driveway without my opinionated and often-violent neighbours letting me know how they feel.
I guess I'll put this one in the garage for now. Maybe there will be fewer inclines and less oppression come summer time.
GOT!
Baby Alive Potty
They come in three varieties: Caucasian, African, and Hispanic. In an attempt to stave off claims of racism and to maintain my reputatrion among the politically correct, I asked Santa for all three. Unfortunately he only delivered one. It was Caucasian.
I have since been disowned by my African and Hispanic friends. One of which is now pressing charges of discrimination against me. But who needs friends anyway. Especially since most of my free time is now consumed by making this white piece of plastic shit in a bowl.
Salvation from boredom has arrived, and not a moment too soon.
Kota My Triceratops Dinosaur
Failing to read the instructions, I sat on his back and simultaneously shatter ed his spine. Now he just lays in bed all day.
Don't worry, I take good care of him. I know he'd do the same for me.
GOT!
Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo
After hearing that these dolls professed religious dogma, I just had to have one. However, like many other young adult males on Christmas morning, I was disappointed with my Cuddle&Coo. The dolls, like the perpetrators of the claim, fared no better than infantile nonsense. Nevertheless, I will continue to make use of it. I have grown more attached as the days progressed.
I guess you can say, I came for the religious message, but stayed for the cuddles and the coos.
GOT!
Powerwheels
Barbie Jeep
Being that A)I am lazy and B) my driving instructor was a bitch, I currently only hold a G1 liscense. I desperately needed a means of transportation that I could use, and that is was I got.
I was excited to get this baby on the road, however its inability to traverse mild inclines was a serious setback. On top of that , I can never get out of my driveway without my opinionated and often-violent neighbours letting me know how they feel.
I guess I'll put this one in the garage for now. Maybe there will be fewer inclines and less oppression come summer time.
GOT!
Baby Alive Potty
They come in three varieties: Caucasian, African, and Hispanic. In an attempt to stave off claims of racism and to maintain my reputatrion among the politically correct, I asked Santa for all three. Unfortunately he only delivered one. It was Caucasian.
I have since been disowned by my African and Hispanic friends. One of which is now pressing charges of discrimination against me. But who needs friends anyway. Especially since most of my free time is now consumed by making this white piece of plastic shit in a bowl.
Salvation from boredom has arrived, and not a moment too soon.
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